The Experience of Inexperience.
When I was asked to write a blog post about what God has been doing in my life lately, I prayed and meditated on what I should write about, but it became obvious quite quickly. As a young adult myself, I have plenty of experience with inexperience. This title sounds like an oxymoron, but that is quite fitting, because the experience that the world expects of young adults like myself makes me feel, at times, like a moron.
Exhausted from Change.
I got married to my wife in 2021 at the age of 19. And then life happened, and it happened fast. Here’s what happened:
In 2024: We had our first child, then I graduated from college with my bachelor’s degree, and then we moved into a new apartment.
In 2025: I started my first teaching job, then my wife graduated with her associate’s degree, we bought a house, and then we had our second child.
And I have been exhausted during—and ever since.
Reading this list makes me feel two things: incredibly loved by God because of all He has done in my life, and also incredibly anxious. How am I supposed to deal with all of this at the same time? Why did God want all of this to happen so fast? Did God want this to happen so fast? In the midst of all of this, I think God forgot to ask me if I wanted it to happen this way (sarcasm intended).
Inexperience with Following
Nonetheless, as young adults, the world expects change from us. When I say “the world,” I mean universities, bosses, parents, etc. I think the first time I started to feel this pressure from my lack of experience was my senior year of high school. I thought I wanted to be a zoologist and go to Michigan State University. I did get into Michigan State, but God called me to one of my backup schools, Indiana Wesleyan University, to become a teacher.
I liked this idea. I knew that God had put it on my heart and that it was in His plan, but it was not my plan. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, but it made me feel like I was not in control. It made me feel like I could not see the next step in front of me. I did as God asked and went, and to this day, it was one of the best decisions I think God has ever made.
I loved that school. I met great friends, I grew in my faith, and I met the love of my life. My wife and I were (and are) proudly “ring by spring” people.
Inexperience with Engagement
We got married after our sophomore year, after a very turbulent engagement. This period of my life was the second time my inexperience showed.
My in-laws would have preferred their son-in-law to be a little different than I was, to put it kindly. I had only been a Christian for four years. I loved God deeply, but that did not seem to be enough for them. They had always imagined someone different than me, and that was the first time I felt so excluded because of my testimony. I had no experience in this arena. I did not know what to do.
Well, we got married anyway because my wife likes a challenge, and I thank God every day that she does—because at times, that is what I am.
Inexperience with Marriage & Parenting
This was the third time my lack of experience showed: marriage. I come from a divided home, and while I loved (and love) my wife very much, I did not always know what a husband should do. My wife was quick and kind in that season to help me understand. It was mostly taking out the trash, scratching her back, and giving her foot massages, so we were alright.
After our first year of marriage—reading our Bible together and praying together—things made more sense to me. It felt like a box was checked. I now knew how to husband well.
Then we got pregnant—the fourth time I felt vulnerable because of my inexperience. My wife needed different things now because she was pregnant, and then when the baby came, she needed new things again. It is like learning how to rewire your brain on hard mode. She hates this food now. The baby changed clothes sizes from last week. Life was crazy—and because of my amazing daughter, it still is.
I did not know how to be a good dad. They did actually write a whole bunch of books about it, but I did not read them. I just prayed and read my Bible with my wife. I turned out to be a pretty good dad, even with my lack of experience.
Inexperience with Careers & Home
Then I started my first teaching job—the fifth time my lack of experience showed—which made me feel very out of my element, even with all of my training.
Then the big one—the sixth time I felt my inexperience hurt me—we bought a house. I felt pressured to buy a house. Our parents were saying we should. We were already 23 years old, they said. So we did.
Just by a show of hands: do you know how to replace a water heater? Know if that spot on the wall is normal? Know what signs of mice look like? Know how to caulk a bathroom? Know how to figure out if your foundation is in good shape?
Yeah, me either when we bought our house.
But all of a sudden, I was supposed to know how—or be able to pay someone who does.
This weighed on my heart and was the absolute worst example of my inexperience showing. The day we moved in, the HVAC broke, and it felt like it was one thing after another. Eventually, I started making things up. I would see something in the house and think it was going to fall down. A spot on the wall was mold (actually just a crayon scuff). A little slope in the floor meant our foundation needed to be replaced (just settling), etc.
How to Combat Anxiety from Inexperience
From September to January, I really was useless because my anxiety was king. I had lost the battle to inexperience. Even when my second child was born, I felt absent because of worry.
In the last year (at that time), we had moved two times, had two kids, both graduated college, I had started teaching, and we had bought a house. My inexperience was too much. My experience with inexperience made me feel like I had lost control, and I had no idea how to get it back. My life had spiraled out of control.
But here’s what I learned: Inexperience is a part of life, and even though it is hard, I think that God intends for young adults to go through change:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
(James 1:2-4)
I think that this passage in James could have been written to young adults in this age. I am not saying that perseverance has finished its work in me, but when I realized that God was working in my life, it made me realize I need not worry—my Heavenly Father is working to help me.
It reminds me of my daughter. If she is hungry, she acts like it is never going to end. She might think questions like: Why is my lunch not ready? Will my dad make lunch or not? Will he give me something I want? The answer to those is obvious to me. I will make lunch, make sure it is good for her and something she likes.
Sometimes I have to remember that this is like me and God. Of course God will do what is best for me—He loves me. That might mean I have to eat my vegetables, and those could be quite the trial, but in the end, I grow in faith and I have what I need.
If your experience with inexperience is anything like mine, it has hurt, made you anxious, made you feel like the world was asking too much of you, and made you feel small. I can say for sure that God is working in you. It is up to you to recognize that, and in that, to not jump to complaints, but to ask for & find joy.
I have heard it said many times that God will not give you something you can’t handle, and that is a lie. If anything, it is His specialty—not to make you freak out, but to help you realize that you can only do it with His help.
"Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." (Isaiah 64:8)
Chandler Delaney is a twenty-four year old husband, father of two, science teacher and believer in Christ. He serves as a member of the CWC Rooted young adult leadership team.
If you love board games, tabletop role-playing games, or obscure science knowledge - Chandler is your guy!